The Lalakuza
The Lalakuza is a criminal enterprise comprised of Lalafell who engage in "illegal" activity. Our organization strives to provide a unique, fair, and enjoyable gambling experience for talls and smalls alike. The Lalakuza has a long, storied history of gamba and degeneracy within Primal, and we invite you to join our growing community.
Venues
Hours of Operation
Friday: 12 midnight CST til ??
Saturday: 12 midnight CST til ??
Taste of Oni Steakhouse
Hype - Mist: W23 P20
Local hibachi favorite and legal business front for the Lalakuza, this restaurant provides a source of legal income as well as a means to launder ill-gotten gains. While patrons upstairs are being entertained by fire and onion volcanoes, the real business is taking place in the basement.
Abandoned Garage
Hype - Mist: W23 Topmast 57
Once a prominent service garage, taking care of the local auto needs, this abandoned building of brick and mortar now facilitates other, less legal, needs. It is said that on some nights, you can see flickering of light and small shadows moving about, but the truth behind these rumors remains uncertain as those who investigate rarely return in a condition capable of speaking of the things they witnessed.
Kuza Springs Bathhouse
Hype - Mist: W25 P60
Traditional bathhouses are not very welcoming to those who are considered to be outliers of society. This bathhouse, ran by the notorious Lalakuza, opens all of its amenities to the loyal degens who partake in the services provided by the Lalakuza.
Office of the Oyabun
Hype - Lav: W22 P19
The official office for the Oyabun of the Lalakuza. Behind these walls, all money from gamba is counted, treasures stored, and business deals made. Within these walls lie darker secrets, and those who do not pay back the debts they owe are quick to become a part of these secrets.
Gamba Rules
All results are final. The house does not participate in pots but does take a cut of the pot equal to 11% for bids under 300k and 6% for bids of 300k or more, as a fee for hosting and the hard work that is provided. In 1v1 games, such as Death Roll, if the losing player refuses to pay the winner, they run the risk of being banned from all Lalakuza events, linkshells, and discord.There are no un-backed tabs. While you may be trusted and respected in the gamba community, the only tabs that will be held are those backed by winnings. If you win a large pot that would take a lot of time to pay out, you have the option to have a "backed tab" based off your winnings. You may continue to play in hands based off this tab (message the dealer for each hand you wish to play in), and your total will be updated in real time through Discord DM. At the end of the night, or when you choose to cash out, your tab will be closed and your funds transferred to you through either trade or mannequin at your estate once gamba is over. Mannequins are the preferred form of payout for those with large totals.Large buy-ins: Buy-ins exceeding 5m gil will be done through mannequin. As these pots tend to be quite large, the payout will be paid to the winner at the end of gamba and the player will be allowed a "backed tab" to continue playing with those funds. Once gamba is over, the tab will be closed and the player will be paid in full through either trade or through a mannequin at their estate. Mannequins are the preferred form of payout for those with large totals.
Lalakuza Dice
NOTE: Since January 1st, 2024 the Soft 456 rule has been changed! While a Soft 456 beats any Pair Point, Triples now beat Soft 456.
The round begins with a bidding phase. Players offer bids they are willing to play, and a minimum of THREE players must agree to begin the game.Once a bid is chosen, turn order is established with a /random 99. The order will be from highest to lowest.Starting with the highest order, the first player performs /random 6 three times. If the player fails to score, the dealer will indicate a re-roll by using a "." and the player will then perform /random 6 three more times. A player will have THREE total attempts at scoring points. Failure to score is an out!Scoring works as follows: Pair Points (1-6) < Soft 456 < Trip (111-666) < hard 456.Pair Points: A pair point is the non-paired dice in the roll. Example: 1-5-1 would be 5 points, as the 5 is the non-paired dice in the roll. Higher pair points beat lower pair points.Triples: A triple is when all three dice are of the same value, such as 3-3-3. A higher triple will beat a lower triple.Soft 456: A soft 456 is when a 456 is rolled out of order, such as 4-6-5. This roll will be considered higher than any Pair Point, but beatable by any triple.Natural 456: A natural 456 is when the roll is in order of 4-5-6. This is an instant win and the round is over. The roller wins the pot.Outs: Failure to score points leads to an out. Rolling any order of 123, such as 1-3-2, or 1-2-3, will lead to a "Strike Out" (an instant out).The winner claims the pot. In the event of a tie, the rules are as follows: If TWO people tie, the players can decide to split the pot or play a game of Revolver to break the tie. If THREE or more people tie, those players will play a new round of Lalakuza Dice.Specialty Pots:Hell Pot: 666k buy-in. No 4-5-6 rule (Soft or Natural), but a 6-6-6 will instant win the pot.Meme Pot: 690k buy-in. If someone roles a 69 in the Order Roll, they instantly win the pot.
Revolver
Order is determined with each player performing a /random 99. The player with the highest roll going first. In a game of 3 or more players, the players will stand in a circle and the highest roll will go first. From the first player, the order will rotate in a clockwise direction amongst the players.The starting player will perform /random 6. Each following player will roll ONE LESS than the player before them, i.e. /random 5, /random 4, /random 3, /random 2, /random 1.If a player rolls a 1, they are eliminated.
If a player reaches /random 1, they are eliminated.
If the match has 3 or more players, the next player following an elimination will start over at /random 6 and the process will continue until one person remains.The winner claims the pot.
Test Games Under Development
In this section are rules for games under development. These games are property of the Lalakuza and no permission is given to anyone except Lalakuza Management to play or test these games.
Test Game #1Origin:
11DEC22Creator:
rev
Order is determined with each player performing a /random 99. The player with the highest roll going first. In a game of 3 or more players, the players will stand in a circle and the highest roll will go first. From the first player, the order will rotate in a clockwise direction amongst the players.The game starts with a score of 0, and the starting player will perform /random 3. The result of this roll is added to the score. Each following player will also perform /random 3, with the result being added to the score.If a player's roll causes the score to go above 10:
that player is eliminated.If a player's roll causes the score to reach 10:
that player eliminates the next player in the rotation.If the match has 3 or more players, the score will roll over based on the value of the 1's spot. 10 = 0, 11 = 1, 12 = 2. The next player following an elimination will continue with /random 3 and the process will continue until one person remains.The winner claims the pot.
Recruitment
The Lalakuza is more than just a gambling venue, its an RP community for Lalafell who would like to represent a darker side of Eorzea. Cute and cuddly doesn't do when there is gil to be made, people to be extorted, and knee caps to break. If this fits the way you see yourself, then you may be the Lala we are looking for!
How can I get in?
In order to be a Lalakuza, all you need is to A) be a Lalafell, and B) have a desire to be a member of the Lalakuza and represent the brand. Look for Rev Mo on Hyperion or join the discord (button at the bottom) and choose the "Prospect" role in #Role-Selection.
I'm not Lala, can my alt join?
Unfortunately, we are not accepting Lala alts as members. This also applies to people who fanta often. While we do appreciate the interest of everyone who wants to join in our shenanigans, we are only interested in full-time Lala mains.
What is expected of me?
The only thing that is expected of anyone wishing to be a part of the Lalakuza is to not bring bad light to the organization. While there may be times where we will go visit venues as a group, nothing is mandatory. We are here for fun and community.
So... Do I get to deal?
As of right now, dealers and venue operations are part of the business side of the Lalakuza. This is separate from the community side, which recruitment is part of. As the business side expands, future dealers will be picked from trusted members of the Lalakuza, so while not immediately, there is a possibility in the future that you could find yourself dealing.